Personal and life stuff
Part one
The parts of growing up that nobody puts on a syllabus.
1 / 10
Believe in yourself first
As you grow older, not everybody is going to like you. Some people might dislike the way you talk, think you talk too much, disagree with the things you say, exclude you, or say things about you behind your back.
You cannot completely control that. What you can control is how much you trust yourself, and whether you know your own self-worth.
A friend gave me a funny example. If somebody calls you fat but you genuinely don't believe you're fat, the comment doesn't mean much. If you already believe it yourself, the same comment suddenly hits much harder.
Don't let other people completely determine how you see yourself.
Know what you stand for.
Acknowledge when you make mistakes.
Improve yourself when you need to.
And at the same time, trust yourself and recognise your own worth.
2 / 10
It's okay to be different
You don't always have to follow whatever society considers the "normal" path.
Singapore is a very developed, very structured place. When you're still in school it can feel like everything revolves around academics: your grades, your stream, your school, your O-Level score, which JC or poly you enter, which university you eventually go to.
Academics are important, and you should still try your best. But your results are not your entire identity.
Different environments shape people differently. Someone from one secondary school has completely different experiences from someone at another. Someone who goes to JC develops differently from someone who goes to poly. Someone studying engineering lives a completely different life from someone studying performing arts. That's completely fine.
There isn't only one correct way to grow up.
3 / 10
Try things that aren't "normal"
If there's something you genuinely want to try, try it.
Maybe you want to do something completely different from what people around you expect. I have a friend, Lucas, who's studying musical theatre. That's quite far from what most Singaporean students imagine as the conventional pathway, and that's exactly the point.
You don't have to do something because everyone else is doing it. And you don't have to avoid something because nobody around you is doing it.
When we're young we have a lot of room to experiment. Try something. Fail. Realise you don't like it. Try something else. That's growing up.
4 / 10
Take calculated risks
Trying new things doesn't mean becoming reckless. Push yourself outside your comfort zone, but understand what you're getting into.
Sometimes you should take the opportunity. Sometimes you should play it safe. Sometimes you have to play it by ear: see how the situation develops, understand the people and environment around you, and navigate carefully from there.
Don't blindly jump into everything. But don't become so afraid of uncertainty that you never try anything either.
5 / 10
Have a compass
You don't need your entire life planned out at 15, 16, 17, 18, or even 20. Most people don't. But it helps to have some kind of compass. Not a fixed destination. Just a general direction.
If most of those are yes, you're probably moving somewhere worthwhile.
Your direction can change. Your interests can change. Your plans can change. That's okay. The important thing is that you keep growing.
6 / 10
Take opportunities
- Scholarships
- Overseas programmes
- Internships
- Networking events
- Competitions
- Hackathons
- Volunteering
- Random projects
If something looks interesting and you qualify for it, apply first. You don't have to feel 100% prepared.
Sometimes you'll look at an opportunity and think "there's no way I'll get this." Apply anyway. The worst that normally happens is they say no. And if they say yes, you might end up experiencing something you never expected.
A lot of opportunities happen simply because somebody was willing to put their name forward.
You miss every opportunity you never apply for.
7 / 10
Volunteering
Don't volunteer only because you want another certificate. Certificates and portfolios are useful, especially when you're applying for things. But try to actually care about what you're doing too.
Sometimes the event isn't organised perfectly. Sometimes the person running the project isn't very good. Sometimes things go wrong, and you wonder why you're there. Make the best of what you have.
If you genuinely helped somebody, contributed something useful or learnt something, that matters more than another line on your portfolio.
8 / 10
Push your social boundaries
Being willing to be slightly uncomfortable socially can take you surprisingly far.
Talk to somebody new.
Start a conversation.
Ask a question.
Introduce yourself.
Do something slightly outside what you'd normally do.
A lot of opportunities come through people. One random conversation leads to another, which leads to an opportunity you would never have found otherwise.
You don't have to become extremely extroverted. Just don't let nervousness automatically stop you from talking to people.
9 / 10
Be careful with what you say
Self-confidence doesn't mean saying absolutely anything without consequences. Be conscious of how you speak to people, and especially careful about what you put online.
Something you post as a joke at 15 or 16 can still exist years later when you're applying for scholarships, university, internships, jobs or leadership roles.
There is a difference between being outspoken and being unnecessarily offensive. Think before you post. Your digital footprint lasts longer than you expect.
10 / 10
Nobody says "good job" enough
One thing I've realised growing up is that people our age don't tell each other "good job" nearly enough. Everybody is struggling with their own things, and nobody stops to acknowledge the effort another person is putting in.
So say it. To your friends, to your classmates, to yourself. It costs nothing and people remember it.